Captain Haddock

As news emerges that Hollywood is making a blockbuster film of 'The Adventures of Tintin', Fudge and I put our names in the ring for the parts of Captain Haddock and Snowy - Fudge might need a little bit of makeup, but I have it on good authority that I'm a dead ringer for the Captain!

Gateway

This isn't really a dog related post (apart from the picture of Pudding waiting to get on with her walk). This gate is at the entrance of a small nature reserve in Silverdale, it is dedicated to the memory of a dead musician, whose name I can never remember, but who I always say a silent hello to when I'm there. Silverdale is a magical place - even the name feels like something straight out of Tolkien - the hills are covered in hazel and Yew woods, and if you know where to look there are even some of the incredibly rare Lady's Slipper Orchids. Close by there's the RSPB nature reserve Leighton Moss, and here comes a very tenuous dog link, Leighton Moss with its extensive reed beds, is famous for its breeding population of Bitterns. For any non bird watchers, Bitterns are a secretive type of Heron, famed for their strange booming call. Now here comes the dog bit, in Arthur Conan Doyles 'Hound of the Baskervilles', the villain claims to Dr Watson that the distant baying of the hound, is really the booming of a Bittern - I warned you it was a tenuous link.

Just to prove what a boring son of a bachelor I am, I actually have another Bittern anecdote, sad isn't it? When I was about 15 I was crammed in a bird-hide in Leighton Moss with several other Birders, all of us hoping for a glimpse of an elusive Bittern, suddenly one of my companions leaped to his feet with a strangled cry of 'Bittern', unfortunately in his enthusiasm he dislodged the prop holding open the hide window above his head, the window swung closed with a sickening dull thud, half decapitating the poor old birder. To add insult to injury, the force of the blow knocked the chaps top set of false teeth and his £700 telescope straight out of the hide window. As long as I live I will never forget the sight of this poor man's telescope slowly sinking into 3 feet of glutinous mud while his teeth lay there smiling maniacally back at him.

And the overdraft keeps growing!

This little bronze cat reminded us so much of Sable that we had to buy it - every bugger else seems to be adding to the toxic debt, so we thought to hell with fiscal prudence.

How to wash a cat

How to wash a cat

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6.. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Thank you for taking the time to read this
Yours Sincerely,
The Dog

Taunted by a squirrel

Fudge was totally scandalized by this bold squirrel, who didn't seem to care that he had come face to face with a champion squirrel chaser!

Reading Dobermans

I have a private theory as to why people who don't have much experience of Dobermans find them as intimidating as they do. Although this theory is based on my own observations, I hope it isn't purely a 'common sense' explanation.

The most obvious reason why people find Dobermans frightening, is founded on the stereotypical image of them as 'devil dogs', but on a subtler level I think that Doberman body language is different from that of other dogs. This isn't helped by the fact that most Dobermans that people encounter have had their tail and ears cosmetically altered; dogs use these appendages to communicate with both other dogs and people. I think it is telling that before actually owning a Doberman I found it easier to read the body language of a wolf than I did that of a Doberman. In Britain it is illegal to crop the ears of any dog, but tail docking is still prevalent. I am not going to comment on this beyond saying that although I plan to have more Dobermans in the future, I will never own another dock tailed dog as long as I live. Black's veterinary dictionary, on its entry on tail docking, highlights the fact that tail docked dogs often have problems communicating their intentions to other dogs, this often results in fights.

But surgery inflicted changes aside, Dobermans do not have particularly expressive faces. Now I'm sure that most Doberman owners would be up in arms at that statement, but think back to your experiences with your first Doberman. I've already mentioned on this Blog the fact that when we got Fudge, I felt that I was trying as hard to learn to speak Doberman as she was trying to learn human. If you compare a Dobermans features to that of a really expressive dog like a Collie, I think you'll get my point. A happy Doberman doesn't look all that different to a sad Doberman, unless you know the breed well and know to look for the almost imperceptible droop in the ears. It is this inscrutable nature of Dobermans that I think can unsettle people who don't have much experience of the breed. When you combined this with the Doberman habit of unblinkingly staring directly at strangers, behaviour that is extremely threatening in other dog breeds, you can understand why the uninitiated tend to be a bit nervous around them.

In the brilliant 'Man meets Dog', the ethologist Konrad Lorenz discusses the fact that bears are extremely dangerous animals to study and work with, mainly because they have very few muscles in their face, so that the people working with them have no facial clues as to whether a bear is becoming upset or aggressive. I would argue that the impassive face of a Doberman has a similar ursine quality, which only allows those that are really familiar with the breed to read their thoughts.

I think I may have a tree fetish!

There's got to be a joke about getting wood in here somewhere!

John Ditchfield Doberman

The latest addition to our modest but growing collection of John Ditchfield glass, which we bought directly from the Glasform studio. If you find yourself anywhere near Blackpool, then it is really worth making a small detour to visit the studio.

This beautiful girl is Zara, one of the studio's resident Dobermans. She patiently works alongside her mistress, greeting customers with an aloof tolerance, which is typical of Dobies when meeting strangers - friendly yet slightly reserved until they get to know you.

Holiday Pictures

"Did you remember to pack the dog food?"

Love 'em or loathe 'em

Two of my favourite dog quotes, one pro and one anti dog -

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too - Samuel Butler

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves - August Strindberg

Just one last quote -

If a dog jumps onto your lap it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer - A.N. Whitehead

Searching the rock pools

Last summer we had a holiday in Robinhoods Bay, we searched the beach for fossils and the rock pools for Hermit Crabs. Pudding and Fudge didn't really understand what we were doing but entered into the spirit of things nonetheless.

Pudding is an excellent swimmer and seems to think that she is part seal, Fudge however is less elegant in the water, as soon as she can't touch the floor with her feet, she starts to flail around with her front legs as if she's auditioning for an extra in Jaws.