Lab-Collie Cross?

I've often wondered exactly who Pudding's antecedents were, there's definitely Labrador and Border Collie in there, but then there's a secret ingredient that I'm still trying to identify. Suggestions include Patterdale Terrier and Bearded Collie. I not sure I'll ever know for sure, but I don't care, she's a wonderful creature. Once when I was walking her a small child ran up to us excitedly shouting "It's Dumbledor dog, it's Dumbledor dog", and there's certainly something magical about her.

"Hang Spring Cleaning!"

I should be working, but the sun is out, the air is mild, the Doberman wants to play, and to quote Shakespeare - 'I know a bank whereon the wild thyme blows, where oxslips and the nodding violet grows'. So I'm going to take the dogs there for a nice walk.

I think this is my favourite time of the year, the weather's mild and inviting, all the summer birds are returning (I saw my first Swift of the year yesterday and the House Martins are back and patching up last years nest). The heaths are covered in flowering gorse bushes, which fill the air with a perfume like sweet coconut, and high up in the air, you can hear the 'loo-loo' of ascending Woodlarks.

For once a serious post! The RSPCA is suggesting a change to the law governing dangerous dogs. Rather than breed specific legislation, the RSPCA is proposing a change to the law, so that dog owners rather than dogs are targeted. There are very few bad dogs, but there are a lot of bad owners. I would go one step further and suggest that in order to own certain more demanding breeds, that you should have to pass a handler competency test. Dogs are social animals, with serious attacks on their own 'pack' being rare; if you think about it, the evolutionary benefits of pack behaviour are based on group rather than individual survival. Dogs normally only show true aggression to those that they perceive as being members of an out group, or those that they perceive to be hierarchically below them in the pack. Both of these factors can be controlled by a combination of good early socialisation and firm consistent handling by the owners. As they say in America - Ban the deed not the breed.

Apology Accepted

I would like to accept PP's unreserved FaceBook apology and welcome her decision to attend Doberman E&D training. Discrimination - together we can stop it!

In fairness PP isn't all bad, she is raising lots of money for charity by running the London marathon! Good luck PP you've got a great day for it, remember to keep up with your fluid intake - and I don't mean Gordons & tonic (anyone watching the marathon on TV PP is the one running in a giant prawn costume).

Dog Tired

I've never known a dog who likes their sleep quite as much as Fudge. It isn't unknown for us to get up in the morning and realise over breakfast that she is still fast asleep upstairs. One of the health problems that Dobermans can suffer from is narcolepsy, though in Fudge's case her somnolence is due to plain laziness.

Named and shamed!

This is a story of 3 generations of Doberman prejudice.

A person who shall remain nameless, but whose initials are P P (you know who you are!), told me a frightening tale of how her poor old grandfather was viciously savaged by a Doberman. However as I enquired more closely into this alleged incident, it transpired that said grandfather had spent several years deliberately teasing and antagonising this poor dog, while it was safely chained up. One day the Doberman finding itself unchained, decided to take punitive action against the 'sit upon' area of aforementioned grandfather - in my opinion, Karma at work.

The sad part of this story is that P P continues to disseminate her gin soaked anti Doberman propaganda, with no thought of the potential harmful consequences - but then I suppose this is as much as can be expected from a Labrador owner.

Boggle Hole Doberman

Pudding and Fudge enjoying the soon to be Olympic sport, of chasing skimmed stones.

How much is that doggy in the basket?

Introducing an 8 week old Fudge (hiding at the back).

When we picked her up, her Russian owner gave us two warnings in broken English, "She like shoe, she no get yet, but she try" and the very cryptic "Vorm tummy!". The former has cost me several pairs of slippers, while the latter led to a slightly more unpleasant experience. On the journey home Fudge cried and squirmed, and generally wouldn't stay still. I tried talking soothingly to her, I tried sternly telling her to be still, all to no avail. Finally I gave up and let her crawl around the car, but she still didn't calm down. Eventually however she seemed to get comfy on the dashboard, so I happily left her there. After half an hours peace she turned around and gave me a piteously apologetic look - before copiously evacuating her bowels all over me. There are few sights in this world to compare with a Doberman with projectile diarrhea. Within seconds I was covered from head to toe in pungent poo; it was like something from Dante. To make matters worse we were stuck for two hours in the London rush hour, and I had to just sit in this pool of liquid fertiliser. My wife found the whole situation extremely amusing, and spent the journey home alternating between gagging and hysterics. Fudge, her work done, curled up and went to sleep. With hindsight I realise that "Vorm tummy" describes the laxative effects of Worming medicine, however I would stress that it obviously loses something in the translation from Russian.

Summer's coming

Pudding and Fudge both love to sun bathe, as the summer progresses the lawn gets covered in little dog shaped patches.

Doberman joke

I have to admit to a slightly Rabelaisian sense of humor, and although I find this joke funny, I also think that it highlights the negative public perception of Dobermans.

Q What do you do if a Doberman starts to hump your leg?

A Light it a cigarette when it's finished, and for God's sake don't forget to fake an orgasm!